Its Over Between Us

Dear V,

It has been a long time since I communicated with you hasn't it?  Yes, I have received your letters asking me to come back; trying to tell me you are worth it and that you will take care of me.  You were always the charmer, I think you know that, but the truth is I need more than your flash.

We went through a lot together didn't we, long car trips, vacations, many late nights and the occasional sunrise.  We have both grown a lot over these past six years, but I believe that we have grown apart.  It is like our relationship existed in cycles of time that fit you but not me, and your time lines became very constricting for me.  You were always very rigid with me, but when I came to you with my problems, you seemed impatient, cold and uncaring; like you were more concerned about making your next dollar than about our relationship.

I know that you are going to try to continue to win me back, saying that you are dependable, that you are better than all the others, that you want us to be able to accomplish so many new things together, that we could go so many more places together, and that you believe that you could make me a better communicator and help me become a more organized person.

But to tell you the truth, I have been thinking about leaving you for years, and this shows me that you were never listening to me each of those times I told you I was upset, or felt cheated.  I told you several times that when the opportunity arose, I would leave and that I would never come back.  This was my decision, yes, but I put a lot of the fault on you.  That may sound immature, but I don't feel like I can trust you, one day you would tell me one thing and then another day it was something else.  In the end it always came down to what was best for you, and never what was in my best interest.

I feel like I need to be honest with you, I am with someone else now.  It may not be perfect, but I feel more free now than I ever did with you.  I don't have the limits you put on me, like playing mind games by telling me you would buy something for me only if I agreed to stay with you.  Or when you would tell me who I could call and when I would be able to call them.  This new relationship is much more cooperative, I feel like we both need and respect each other, but at the same time, I really do feel like it is on my terms, I don't feel the obligations like when I was with you.

I know that you will go on to do a lot of things with many other people that are probably much more loyal that I am, maybe I am not even a blip on your radar anymore, but I still want to thank you for our time together.  I don't want it to be awkward if we run into each other at the mall or when I get a haircut, it really doesn't need to be.  You were my first, and I will always remember that, I hope that you remember the good times, I'll keep the picture below to remember my fond memories of you.

Ryan